Come to the Forest to Visit Me

Come to the forest to visit me
Down by the roots of a tree
Waste not your tears on cold, stone graves
Water a flower for me

Give me to the earth when my winter comes
Bury me deep in the ground
Mark not my place with statues or caves
Find me where life can be found

Come to the woods when autumn leaves turn
Golden and copper and red
Rustle up memories, seeds of joy stored
Kick up the leaves in my stead

Visit a garden on warm, summer days
Keep company with blossoms and bees
Remember my heart blooms forever in yours
Take comfort from shushing shade trees

Let springtime surround you with life and the living
Birdsong and budding green leaves
Look up at the sky, give thanks for sun and rain
When you think of me, please smile more than grieve

Come to the forest to visit me
Down by the roots of a tree
Waste not your tears on thoughts of death
Water a new flower for me

By, Lurana Brown

–

Lurana Brown is a pianist/accompanist and licensed massage therapist. Her poetry has been published by the Blue Hour and Shoe Music Press, is forthcoming in anthologies by the Visionary Press Collaborative, Swimming with Elephants, and the Blue Hour, and can be found at www.luranabrown.com.

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Designating an Executor of Estate in the UK

The following is a guest post contributed by Andy Woodbridge:

An Executor can be very helpful in the initial days after a death. They can help to obtain and disseminate a will or directive, and can also make decisions on how to handle funeral arrangements and more.

It is vital that an executor be assigned well in advance of end of life. This can help to ensure that one less decision has to be made in the event of an unfortunate terminal illness or fatal injury. Agreeing to be an executor of estate can be an excellent way to pay tribute to a loved one, family member, or dear friend.

In the United Kingdom, anyone can be assigned the executor of estate position. This is true even if the person stands to benefit from the will itself through monetary or material gains. There are only a few simple rules to clarify who may or may not be assigned as an executor of estate.

All executors must be at least 18 years of age or older at the time that they enter they begin to act as executor. Younger teens may be assigned as executor, but may only act as an executor if the death occurs after their 18th birthday. In this instance, a second executor should be designated to protect from sudden occurrences prior to that date. Executors must also be of sound mind, and should be able to make decisions both quickly and with thorough consideration.

The executor of estate position can be rescinded, but it is exceptionally difficult to do so. Before you accept such a position, you should consider that it is normally assigned for life. There is no shame in refusing the position; it comes with plenty of responsibility and can be extremely time-consuming. You should be honest and forthright with your ability to enact decisions and executor responsibilities. Whenever possible, this decision should be discussed at length with the person for whom you will act as executor.

Depending on whether you are the only executor, it may be a legal requirement that you assign another executor in your place. This, too, is a decision that must be undertaken with great care. It is advisable that you consult with a solicitor before appointing anyone as an executor of estate.

In certain areas of the United Kingdom, such as Northern Ireland, you can only rescind the position and appoint a new executor if you are able to prove that you cannot handle your own affairs. This is exceptionally rare, and is generally proven only when you are judged incapable of making decisions.

In most areas, a Renunciation of Probate form is required. This form must be filled out in order to begin the process. The Renunciation of Probate can be downloaded online for free, and can then be printed off.

In some cases,  assigning an appropriate executor may be difficult or impossible. This is where professional executor services come in. Professional executor services can be enacted to allow for execution of estates without an individual needing to act as executor specifically. These services can also be effective when estates are particularly large.

Several other options are available to provide an executor in extenuating circumstances:

Up to four executors can be assigned to share dutiesA solicitor may be able to act as an executorAnyone may apply to be executor through a letter of administration

Assigning an executor of estate should be undertaken as early as possible. The same is true for the creation of a will; there are many advantages to creating a will early in life. This can provide for a fail-safe in the event of sudden fatal illnesses or accidents. While few enjoy thinking about their death in advance, it is important to do so.

A will is not something to be feared; rather, it should be discussed matter-of-factly with those you love to ensure that your estate is distributed fairly and in a manner that you agree with. A good solicitor can help to ensure that all of your most important wishes are followed. Click here for further probate advise.

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Advantages of Preparing a Will in Advance

Despite its natural, inevitable nature, death is an uncomfortable subject for many people.  Turning attention to what life might be like for others, once you’re gone, may not be the most appealing pastime, but certain accommodations must nonetheless be made in advance of your death.  Naming beneficiaries on insurance policies and investments, for example, provides protection in the event of your demise, making sure your assets are distributed to the proper parties.  A Last Will and Testament, or simply “will,” is an expanded document which serves a similar function; earmarking possessions to be passed-on and outlining your wishes for administering you estate.

Preparing a will in advance of your death makes sense on several grounds.  If you have not taken the time to prepare a will, consider some of the following reasons it may be prudent to create one at this time.

While the subjects contained in your will are highly personal, sharing innermost thoughts and feelings; the document is ultimately put in-place for the benefit of survivors.  Grief over your passing is a burden in and of itself; so piling-on additional uncertainty can complicate the situation even further.  Constructing a comprehensive will takes the burden away from survivors, furnishing assurances that everything will unfold in a reasonable way.

Maintaining a will ensures that your legacy will carry-on as intended.  When no will is present at the time of death, your estate becomes subject to legal jurisdiction governing how it must be handled.  Personal property, for example, can be bequeathed specifically according to the terms contained in your will, whereas legal statutes take-over regarding property distributions, when no will is available.

While your estate might seem straightforward, it is a mistake to assume your wishes will be carried out by the courts in lieu of a will.  If you have no spouse or children, for example, parents, siblings, nieces and nephews may be in line to inherit your property – unless you articulate a will naming other beneficiaries.  A friend or long-term partner, for instance, may be designated to receive personal property in the event of your death, but will be left out in the cold when no will is available to identify your wishes.

Even if your estate is not highly valued, in terms of assets and property held, it can become complicated to administer without a will.  Legal issues and contentious heirs arise in many cases, calling for professional assistance from lawyers and tax advisors.  Not only does the added effort take time, but legal fees and paid consultation add-up quickly, eating-in to the value of your estate.

When an up-to-date will is maintained, many questions are summarily resolved at the time of your death, expediting the resolution of your estate.  While wills are relatively inexpensive to produce, they nonetheless hold the potential to save significant sums of money administering your estate, once you are gone.

In addition to identifying property distributions, wills are used to designate who will be in charge of administering your wishes.  Once commonly referred to as “executor”, the person tasked with managing your estate is sometimes referred to as “personal representative”.  Your will allows you to select a friend or family member you feel comfortable with, and who will administer your estate competently and efficiently.  To avoid family conflicts and inconsistencies, some individuals name professionals to administer their wills.

In the absence of a will, the courts choose personal representatives, to oversee proceedings on your behalf.  While court-appointed representatives are not granted powers above and beyond other members of your family, your ability to select your own personal advocate is lost when you die without a will in-place.

You may realize additional benefits, such as tax-planning advantages, by maintaining a properly formatted will.  But at the very least, you’ll protect your heirs and beneficiaries; ensuring your desires are carried out after death.

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Who Has the Legal Right to Arrange a Funeral?

By Josh Slocum
Executive Director
Funeral Consumers Alliance

Conflicts between family members and interested parties over who has the legal right and precedence to make funeral arrangements for a person are sadly common. Here are the basics.

Designated Agents---Most states have some form of a law that allows a person to legally designate anyone she wishes to have the sole legal right to make and carry out funeral arrangements. For a list by state, see this link.

If the deceased had a designated agent in place, that person's directions will overrule anyone else's, regardless of marriage or other kin.

In the absence of a designated agent, the legal authority goes like this, from highest to lowest:

1. Living spouse or domestic partner
2. Adult child or children (states vary; some require only one child's permission while others require majority or unanimous agreement)
3. Parents
4. Siblings
5. Grandparents

. . .and so on down the line of ever more distant relations.

Important ---The most frequent "unfounded" complaint we receive at FCA has to do with anger at a funeral director for allowing someone to make funeral arrangements, someone the complainant believes is not legally entitled to do so. While there are cases where funeral directors knowingly (and illegally) allow this, most of the ones we see are not actually the funeral director's fault. It's important to discern whether your complaint is actually with a family member who misrepresented himself to the funeral home.

Remember, there is no "next of kin database" in existence. Funeral directors have no way of knowing that dad's live-in girlfriend isn't his legal wife if she says she is. And no, it's not reasonable to expect funeral directors to demand marriage certificates or some other "proof" of kinship. State laws require funeral directors to make a good faith effort to secure the permission from the legally authorized people. But that depends on them knowing who those people are, and a party who lies to the funeral home can upset the process.

If you think someone has illegitimately taken over the funeral arrangements for a family member, try to ascertain first whether that person was actually the deceased's legal designated agent. And it's worth giving the funeral director the benefit of the doubt unless you have evidence that he or she knowingly participated in a fraudulent transaction. Most funeral directors don't, and they don't want to be a referee over family disputes. I can't blame them. Quite frankly, I've been shocked at how cruel and mean-spirited otherwise nice people can behave when they see an opportunity to have a go at a despised relative over the funeral arrangements.

ORIGINALLY POSTED IN THE FCA DISCUSSION FORUM 3-14-2014

Last Updated ( Saturday, 15 March 2014 21:07 )  

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Mom Adds Sandbox to Boy's Grave So Older Son Can Play with His Brother

People Magazine
March 13, 2014

By Kelli Bender

A mother's tribute to her deceased 5-day-old son – the addition of a sandbox to his grave, so her older boy could continue to play with his brother – has quickly gone viral on Facebook, with more than 220,000 users sharing her photo.

Ashlee Hammac, 24, says she originally planned to decorate the gravesite of her son Ryan with glass pebbles, but then realized her older son, Tucker, needed his own place to mourn.

"The more I thought about it, the more I wanted something my other son Tucker could be incorporated in," Hammac told PEOPLE. "He always goes out there with me, and sits out there, and sings lullabies, and talks to him just like he was there. So I wanted it to be special for him too. His favorite thing right now is trucks."

Read the full article at People Magazine

 

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New from the FTC-en Espanol

The Federal Trade Commission has revised two extremely helpful documents for funeral consumers. Even better, they're available in Spanish, too. Check out El último adiós and Compra de servicios fúnebres. FCA Affiliates—Note that you can order paper versions of these in bulk, free, from the FTC. You can also (and should) host these new pamphlets directly on your site. 

The Federal Trade Commission, the nation’s consumer protection agency, has revised two brochures to help consumers make funeral choices, either in advance or at a time of need.

Paying Final Respects summarizes consumer rights under the FTC’s Funeral Rule, which helps to ensure that people get information so they can compare prices among funeral homes. For example, consumers have a right to buy only the funeral goods (such as caskets) and services (such as embalming) they want, and to get a written, itemized price list when they visit a funeral home.

Shopping for Funeral Services provides a detailed guide to various kinds of funeral goods and services, includes a pricing checklist, glossary, and contact information for national organizations.

You can order the publications at ftc.gov/bulkorder. The FTC has related information online in a series of articles that explain consumer rights, describe types of funeral products and services, and help shoppers compare providers. The FTC has compliance information for people in the funeral industry at business.ftc.gov/funerals.

The Federal Trade Commission works for consumers to prevent fraudulent, deceptive, and unfair business practices and to provide information to help spot, stop, and avoid them. To file a complaint in English or Spanish, visit the FTC’s online Complaint Assistant or call 1-877-FTC-HELP (1-877-382-4357). The FTC enters complaints into Consumer Sentinel, a secure, online database available to more than 2,000 civil and criminal law enforcement agencies in the U.S. and abroad. The FTC’s website provides free information on a variety of consumer topics. Like the FTC on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, and subscribe to press releases for the latest FTC news and resources.

MEDIA CONTACT:
Office of Public Affairs
202-326-2180

More news from the FTC >>

Last Updated ( Monday, 31 March 2014 16:17 )  

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