Halo Hula Cartoon

Halo Hula Cartoon

Today’s Non Sequitur  provides a heavenly death cartoon – hula hooping with halos! One angel says to another, “Oh, great… Now I’ve got halo envy.” Ha!

But really, there is no envy in heaven, is there?

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Funeralwise.com TV Body Count Study Says It’s Deadly Out There

Funeralwise.com TV Body Count Study Says It’s Deadly Out There

The funeral planning website Funeralwise.com has come out with it’s second TV show body count study – and baby, it’s deadly out there!

The bad news – the body count is higher than it was for the first study, and the number of funerals shown for all of these deaths is next to nil. Out of more than 1,500 dead bodies counted, only 11 funerals were observed by the study.

The primary cause of death for humans (as opposed to zombies or vampires) was gunshot. Of the 1,516 dead bodies counted in this study, a whopping 44% of them died by a person using a gun. At the other end of the spectrum, only 1% died of natural causes or a health problem.

And men are killed way more often than women: 86% men, 13% women and 1% unknown. (Need to get a better look at that category!)

Here’s the news from Funeralwise.com:

CHICAGO, February 11, 2013 —Funeralwise.com has released the results of its second TV Body Count Study. Using counts of dead bodies appearing in television programs, the goal of these studies is to characterize how death is portrayed in popular culture. An online funeral planning service, Funeralwise hopes to stimulate discussion about how people deal with death in real life vs. how they view death as fictionalized in the media.

The second edition of the TV Body Count Study expanded on last year’s initial study by adding new criteria such as the causes of death on TV. One resulting finding is that gunshot victims comprised 44% of all deaths observed in the study. The next closest identifiable cause was knives and blades, which accounted for 19% of deaths.

The Fall 2012 Study also catalogued the gender of the dead, and found that men were, by far, the most likely to die on TV. Males represented 86% of the dead bodies counted, with over 50% dying from a gunshot. Females had fewer onscreen deaths and were more likely to be killed by means other than a gun, such as beatings and strangulation.

The fall season’s deadliest show was the AMC series The Walking Dead which averaged 38 dead bodies per episode. 91% of these dead bodies were zombies. The next deadliest was the CINEMAX series Strike Back, with 26 dead bodies per episode. In total, the 40 TV series studied averaged 4.7 dead bodies per episode, which is a 12% increase over the initial study.

Among the other key findings of the study were:

The primary cause of death differed for humans and non-humans (zombies, vampires, etc.). Humans died most frequently (52% of the time) from gunshots while for non-human victims the most frequent cause was knife, blade, arrow or various other means.The top 3 deadliest shows comprised 40% of the total bodies counted, averaging 25 bodies per episode. The other 37 shows averaged just over 3 dead bodies per episode.Action/adventure shows were the deadliest averaging nearly 15 dead bodies per episode, followed by science fiction/fantasy shows averaging almost 10 dead bodies per episode. Crime/courtroom dramas averaged less than 3 dead bodies per episode.The dead are rarely memorialized, only 11 funerals were observed by the study.

“We expected to find a fair number of dead bodies on TV, but having completed two studies we are surprised by just how much death we have seen. Our intent is not to pass judgment on the TV shows that portray death and violence. Our job is to report the findings and then let people form their own opinions.” said Rick Paskin, Managing Director of Funeralwise.com.

A full report of the study results and methodology is available on the Funeralwise.com website at www.funeralwise.com/studies/tv-body-count-study-results-fall-2012.

Funeralwise invites comments on how death is portrayed on television and its impact on real life. Comments can be posted on the Funeralwise Digital Dying blog at http://blogs.funeralwise.com/dying/2013/02/08/is-a-sickness-spreading-violent-tv-in-faraway-countries/ and the Funeralwise Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/funeralwise. Twitter: @funeralwise. Hashtag: #tvbodycount.

Funeralwise.com offers free, do-it-yourself funeral planning via its website. Aiming to provide “Everything You Need to Know About Funerals,” the site also features extensive information on funeral customs, funeral etiquette and grief support.

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Friday Funeral Film: Little Miss Sunshine

Friday Funeral Film: Little Miss Sunshine

Yes, the delightful comedy Little Miss Sunshine (2006 – rated R) does have funeral film lessons. It shows some of the paperwork involved with death, transporting a body in your own vehicle (illegally) and how prearranged funeral plans can be transferred to other funeral homes. And it starts out in Albuquerque!

Here’s some of the synopsis from IMDb.com:

In Albuquerque, Sheryl Hoover brings her suicidal brother Frank to the breast of her dysfunctional and bankrupted family. Frank a homosexual and expert in Proust, tried to commit suicide when he was rejected by his boyfriend and his great competitor became renowned and recognized as number one in the field of Proust.

Sheryl’s husband Richard is unsuccessfully trying to sell his self-help and self-improvement technique using nine steps to reach success, but he is actually a complete loser. Her son Dwayne has taken a vow of silence as a follower of Nietzsche and aims to be a jet pilot.

Dwayne’s grandfather Edwin (Richard’s father) was sent away from the institution for elders Sunset Manor and is addicted in heroin. When her seven-year-old daughter Olive has a chance to participate in the Little Miss Sunshine pageant in Redondo Beach, California, the whole family travels together in their old Volkswagen bus in a funny journey of hope of winning the talent contest and making a dream come true.

Though Olive is not of the typical pageant ilk (an average-looking, bespectacled child), she adores pageant work and had won second place in a regional contest. During dinner, the family hears a phone message from Olive’s aunt, informing that them that the winner of Olive’s recent pageant had to forfeit, and that Olive now has a place in the Little Miss Sunshine pageant in California. The challenge: they have to be in Redondo Beach by 3:00 p.m. in two days.

There are lots of adventures on the road the first day. The family checks into a motel somewhere in Arizona for the night; Richard and Sheryl in one room, Frank and Dwayne in another, and Grandpa and Olive in a third.

Olive confesses to Grandpa that she is scared about the pageant the following day. Grandpa, who has been coaching Olive on her dance routine, reassures her that she is a beautiful person and will ‘blow ‘em outta the water.” Then he goes into the bathroom to snort some heroin.

Olive wakes her parents in the morning because “Grandpa won’t wake up.” Edwin is rushed to the hospital where he is pronounced dead. A “bereavement liaison” named Linda comes to the waiting room to go through the paperwork needed to process the death.

“My consolations for your loss,” she begins. “Okay, these are the forms you need to fill out: a death certificate; a report of the death; an ME [Medical Examiner] pink slip, please try and be as detailed as possible; this is a brochure for a grief recovery support group that meets on Tuesdays; and if you like at this time I can refer you to a funeral home so you can begin making your arrangements.”

“Actually,” says Richard, “prearrangements have already been made in Albuquerque. We’re actually on our way to California right now.”

“Albuquerque?” she says. “If the body is crossing state lines you are gonna need a Burial Transit Permit from the County Registrar’s office.”

“Okay, but we’re trying to get to Redondo Beach by three o’clock,” says Richard.

“Three o’clock today? Ain’t gonna happen,” says Linda to herself.

All of those paperwork items, including the Burial Transit Permit, are actual paperwork requirements for death in most states. If you were on a road trip with your family and someone dies en route, would you have all of the needed information available? Key things to know about the deceased: full name, Social Security number, place of birth, mother’s maiden name, and military service information.

Richard, determined to honor his father’s memory and get Olive to the pageant on time, has the family smuggle the body out of the hospital and into their VW bus.

After a driver cuts them off on the road the horn on the VW bus won’t stop honking. A state trooper on a motorcycle turns on his siren and lights.

As they are being pulled over, Richard says, “Okay, everybody just pretend to be normal, okay? Like everything’s normal here.”

The trooper nearly uncovers Edwin’s body in the trunk, but is sidetracked by a collection of Grandpa’s porn magazines that falls out first. He lets the family go in exchange for the dirty magazines, and the road trip continues.

Now, if you were transporting a dead body in your vehicle and did not have a Burial Transit Permit to prove you were not involved in some criminal activity, you would be in a heap of trouble. Might want to consider carrying a few distracting porno mags, just in case.

Once they get Olive to the Little Miss Sunshine pageant (barely in time) Richard finds an undertaking service to remove Edwin’s body.

The outfit, Muraoka & Greene “Purveyors of Fine Undertaking,” take Grandpa out of the VW bus and drive away, leaving Richard sadly holding a small box of his father’s personal effects.

One lesson from this scene is that prearranged funerals can be transferred to other funeral homes. I’m guessing they were going to cremate Grandpa and the family would pick up his remains after the Little Miss Sunshine pageant.

If they were going to have a funeral back in Albuquerque, the funeral home would arrange to fly the body back. This would of course incur additional expenses on top of already paid-for goods and services. Body shipment currently may cost in the range of $1,500, more or less, depending on how far the body needs to be shipped.

While sitting in on a prearrangement conference with a client recently, she was offered travel expense insurance to return her body to Albuquerque should she die while away on a trip. The insurance cost a one-time fee of $285. Something to think about if you travel a lot.

Little Miss Sunshine stars Greg Kinnear, Steve Carell, Toni Collette, Alan Arkin, Paul Dano and Abigail Breslin. It’s a really funny, heartwarming movie, in addition to its funeral film lessons. Available from Netflix and for sale (as available) on Amazon.com.

Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death®

Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death®, is author of the award-winning book, A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die and host of A Good Goodbye TV. She speaks to groups using clips from funny films to illustrate funeral planning issues and help start serious conversations. Her website is www.AGoodGoodbye.com.

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Proof of Heaven by Dr. Eben Alexander

Proof of Heaven by Dr. Eben Alexander

If you haven’t yet read the bestselling book Proof of Heaven by Dr. Eben Alexander, here’s a little taste of what it’s about. I gave this talk at Albuquerque Challenge Toastmasters, an advanced club for professional speakers (and those who want to be!).

Spoiler alert! There is information in this talk from the end of the book that might affect how you read it for the first time. And this is a book that should be read several times! It’s magical, scientific, and mind-blowing.

Is there life after death? Listen to this talk and let me know what you think.

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BBC TV: The Art of Looking Death in the Face

BBC TV: The Art of Looking Death in the Face

“How do we begin to talk about death? Death doesn’t answer back. The Grim Reaper’s not big on conversation.”

That’s how reporter Michael Smith started a piece on art and death on The Culture Show on BBC TV. He continued, “Death, after all is a guess, a great unknown, the one blank canvas that awaits us all. How do we imagine the unimaginable?”

He visits a long-established funeral home and the Wellcome Collection, known for exploring the connections between medicine, art and life, which is opening an exhibition about death.

Commemorating death can be more expensive than living. In the Victorian era, wealthy people were expected to entertain with food and drink, as well as provide gifts.

The story shows a collection of memorial rings that families would give to certain important people. Someone could spend an estimated $25,000 on jewelry alone!

A new exhibition at the Wellcome Collection looks at morbid art – a sculpture of a triumphant Death carrying a bow and arrow, a two-sided portrait of a person on one side and a skull on the other, etchings with examples of life and death intersecting.

“Death is the one great democratic experience,” says Smith. This is a very poetic five-minute meditation on life, death and art. Check it out!

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What is old school in the world of funeral arrangements?

By Joe Casper

Recently I went into an Asian restaurant and asked the young waiter, “My father loved chicken chow-mein. How is it here?” To which the waiter replied, “Old school.”

So what is new school?

Based on the waiter’s response, it was clear that this remains a choice, but more people are ordering new school.

There is a new school message that lots of people are using when faced with a funeral emergency and they have limited funds.

Old school is where a family chooses a funeral home, calls them, is given the cost and then pays for the services selected.

The new school way people deal with a funeral emergency is to get more choices and make cost comparisons.

They get second opinions because they want to be certain that they are making an informed decision.

Making any type of funeral arrangement, especially simple cremations, comes down to feeling comfortable with the person you are talking with is credible and giving you direct answers. You are, after all, making arrangements for someone you care about and is very important to you.

If the response to your questions is “maybe” then it should be a “no.”

People should choose wisely. Get a list of all of the costs and services which you are considering.

If you are comfortable, then proceed. If not, then start checking additional facilities to get second and third opinions.

You won’t know unless you double check. Do your homework.

So are you old school or new school?

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Times are changing when it comes to funeral planning

By Joe Casper

The more things change, the more they remain the same. However, for the American funeral these are changing times.

One of the biggest changes is the preference of cremation over burial. Cost is the main factor. All crematories in Massachusetts are located on cemetery grounds.

The average charge for the crematory is about $450. The cost for an average private cemetery, a grave opening and grave box could cost on average $5,000.

Neither the crematory nor the cemetery pay commission to the funeral home.

The tradition of the funeral home coordinating all of the cemetery arrangements, then adding it to the bill — with no profit to them — is a mystery.

Recently, a woman purchased two graves in a very prestigious cemetery.

With the grave opening and vault the cost came to more than $16,000. The cemetery salesperson said, “Make sure you bring us a check the morning of the funeral.”

The person who purchased the graves believed the funeral home received 20 percent. This is untrue, the funeral home receives nothing from the cemetery.

When a family chooses cremation over a burial, there is no reason for the funeral director to push burial over cremation. The funeral home gets nothing either way.

More people are having a traditional service with a wake followed by a cremation. They have visiting hours and a priest or a minister presides over the wake service.

Another choice is direct cremation. After the person is removed from the place where they died, all the paperwork is completed and 48 hours later they are taken to the crematory. A memorial service follows at a church or some other location. The family makes its own plans and arrangements.

Should the family choose to put a death notice in the newspaper, they are responsible for writing it. The newspaper will call the funeral home to confirm that the person is deceased.

If people wish to scatter the cremated remains they do so at a location of their choice. Some people choose to have the cremated remains buried in a cemetery grave. The cemetery will charge an interment fee, which can range from $600 to around $1,200.

With fewer traditional burials, the cemetery has increased the cost for interring cremated remains to offset the loss of regular interment fees. In greater Boston, interment fees for private cemeteries begin at $1,600.

Each cemetery has its own price list of services and sets its own policy regarding what consumers are allowed to do. Prices and options vary.

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