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Sunday, March 31, 2013

Author of Harry Stamps’ Obit Recognized

Author of Harry Stamps’ Obit Recognized

Amanda Lewis, Harry Stamps daughter and obituary writerThe remarkable obituary for Harry Stamps that exploded across the Internet last week was written by his daughter, Amanda Lewis. She was recently named ABC-TV’s Person of the Week for her obituary, which wove humorous commentary in with the facts about her father’s life, loves, and peculiar character.

View the video at ABC’s website.

The story included home films and photos that beautifully illustrate his life and times.

Amanda Lewis said she started writing notes on a pad as she drove to Mississippi as her father was facing his final days. “He was always there for us,” she said with tears in her eyes.

So, what can you do to record your unique contribution to this world? Who will write your life story and make it sing? Why not start your own first draft?


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Saturday, March 30, 2013

Harry Stamp’s Awesome Obituary

Harry Stamp’s Awesome Obituary

Here’s a refreshing obituary! Harry Stamps must have been quite a guy who lived Mississippi near the Gulf Coast. This came from the Bradford-O’Keefe Funeral Home website. May the memory of Harry Stamps live on!

Harry Weathersby Stamps, ladies’ man, foodie, natty dresser, and accomplished traveler, died on Saturday, March 9, 2013.

Harry was locally sourcing his food years before chefs in California starting using cilantro and arugula (both of which he hated). For his signature bacon and tomato sandwich, he procured 100% all white Bunny Bread from Georgia, Blue Plate mayonnaise from New Orleans, Sauer’s black pepper from Virginia, home grown tomatoes from outside Oxford, and Tennessee’s Benton bacon from his bacon-of-the-month subscription. As a point of pride, he purported to remember every meal he had eaten in his 80 years of life.

The women in his life were numerous. He particularly fancied smart women. He loved his mom Wilma Hartzog (deceased), who with the help of her sisters and cousins in New Hebron reared Harry after his father Walter’s death when Harry was 12. He worshipped his older sister Lynn Stamps Garner (deceased), a character in her own right, and her daughter Lynda Lightsey of Hattiesburg.

He married his main squeeze Ann Moore, a home economics teacher, almost 50 years ago, with whom they had two girls Amanda Lewis of Dallas, and Alison of Starkville. He taught them to fish, to select a quality hammer, to love nature, and to just be thankful. He took great pride in stocking their tool boxes. One of his regrets was not seeing his girl, Hillary Clinton, elected President.

He had a life-long love affair with deviled eggs, Lane cakes, boiled peanuts, Vienna [Vi-e-na] sausages on saltines, his homemade canned fig preserves, pork chops, turnip greens, and buttermilk served in martini glasses garnished with cornbread.

He excelled at growing camellias, rebuilding houses after hurricanes, rocking, eradicating mole crickets from his front yard, composting pine needles, living within his means, outsmarting squirrels, never losing a game of competitive sickness, and reading any history book he could get his hands on. He loved to use his oversized “old man” remote control, which thankfully survived Hurricane Katrina, to flip between watching The Barefoot Contessa and anything on The History Channel.

He took extreme pride in his two grandchildren Harper Lewis (8) and William Stamps Lewis (6) of Dallas for whom he would crow like a rooster on their phone calls. As a former government and sociology professor for Gulf Coast Community College, Harry was thoroughly interested in politics and religion and enjoyed watching politicians act like preachers and preachers act like politicians.

He was fond of saying a phrase he coined “I am not running for political office or trying to get married” when he was “speaking the truth.” He also took pride in his service during the Korean conflict, serving the rank of corporal–just like Napolean, as he would say.

Harry took fashion cues from no one. His signature every day look was all his: a plain pocketed T-shirt designed by the fashion house Fruit of the Loom, his black-label elastic waist shorts worn above the navel and sold exclusively at the Sam’s on Highway 49, and a pair of old school Wallabees (who can even remember where he got those?) that were always paired with a grass-stained MSU baseball cap.

Harry traveled extensively. He only stayed in the finest quality AAA-rated campgrounds, his favorite being Indian Creek outside Cherokee, North Carolina. He always spent the extra money to upgrade to a creek view for his tent. Many years later he purchased a used pop-up camper for his family to travel in style, which spoiled his daughters for life.

He despised phonies, his 1969 Volvo (which he also loved), know-it-all Yankees, Southerners who used the words “veranda” and “porte cochere” to put on airs, eating grape leaves, Law and Order (all franchises), cats, and Martha Stewart. In reverse order. He particularly hated Day Light Saving Time, which he referred to as The Devil’s Time. It is not lost on his family that he died the very day that he would have had to spring his clock forward. This can only be viewed as his final protest.

Because of his irrational fear that his family would throw him a golf-themed funeral despite his hatred for the sport, his family will hold a private, family only service free of any type of “theme.” Visitation will be held at Bradford-O’Keefe Funeral Home, 15th Street, Gulfport on Monday, March 11, 2013 from 6-8 p.m.

In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you make a donation to Mississippi Gulf Coast Community College (Jeff Davis Campus) for their library. Harry retired as Dean there and was very proud of his friends and the faculty. He taught thousands and thousands of Mississippians during his life. The family would also like to thank the Gulfport Railroad Center dialysis staff who took great care of him and his caretaker Jameka Stribling.

Finally, the family asks that in honor of Harry that you write your Congressman and ask for the repeal of Day Light Saving Time. Harry wanted everyone to get back on the Lord’s Time.


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Frozen Out of Frozen Dead Guy Days

Frozen Out of Frozen Dead Guy Days

FDGD 2013There was a big winter storm in Colorado today, and bad roads prevented me from getting to Nederland from Boulder for Frozen Dead Guy Days. But the movie went on, and I’ll be there on Sunday with The Newly-Dead Game.

The great folks at the Black Forest Restaurant did get the movie going, showing the hour-long “Grandpa’s Still in the TUFF SHED” documentary. I had the original 25-minute “Grandpa’s in the TUFF SHED” in my bag with me, stuck at a lower elevation.

I tried twice to get up Boulder Canyon, once starting at 7:30 a.m. – the road was closed after I went up – and I had to turn around and come back down by 9:00 a.m. I’ve got a front wheel drive rental that just couldn’t cut the snowy, icy inclines. Went about seven miles up, with eleven more to go blocked by accidents and skidded out vehicles.

There was plenty of company. I tried going up a second time around noon after the road was reopened and got one mile further. If only I didn’t have to stop for the other folks who got stuck, perhaps I could have made it. The Colorado Department of Transportation closed the road again at 3:00 p.m. due to accidents.

Here’s hoping they clear and sand the road well tonight. I’ll do The Newly-Dead Game at 1:00 p.m. and 5:00 p.m. at the Black Forest Restaurant on Sunday. The polar plunge and parade of hearses have been pushed back to Sunday as well.

FDGD @ Nederland Roundabout Nederland roundabout before the snow.


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Friday, March 29, 2013

Youngest Female Funeral Director in Colorado

Youngest Female Funeral Director in Colorado

At Frozen Dead Guy Days, I met the youngest licensed female funeral director in Colorado. Marika McMeans, at 22 years old, is a fresh face in the funeral business with wonderful insights.

She went to mortuary school at Arapaho Community College in Littleton, Colorado. She started working with Carroll-Lewellen Funeral Home in Longmont last summer.

One of Carroll-Lewellen’s interesting community outreach activities is they’ve held scary funeral movie nights at the funeral home. They’ve done this on the past few Friday the 13th dates. Unfortunately, there aren’t that many Friday the 13th dates on the calendar. They may do some fun funeral films in the future.

If you are open to watching funeral themed movies at a funeral home, families are welcome to attend! Check with Carroll-Lewellen Funeral Home for their next film event by calling 303-776-4477.

Here’s a brief interview I did with Marika McMeans about her work in the funeral business.


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Thursday, March 28, 2013

Green Casket Cartoon

Green Casket Cartoon

Today’s Death Cartoon: Close to Home takes the notion of green burial a step beyond!

One lady says to a visitor, “The casket is made out of sod to be 100% environmentally friendly.”

Why not just do a shroud burial?

Green Casket Cartooon


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Walking the Funeral Planning Talk

Walking the Funeral Planning Talk

Jeff Harbeson, Funeral Finance LLCJeff Harbeson has cheated death several times. After his latest brush with facing his mortality, the executive vice president and chief operating officer of Funeral Finance LLC wrote this recent blog post about “walking the talk” when it comes to funeral planning.

Even funeral directors can suffer the “cobbler’s children have no shoes” syndrome.

Here’s what he wrote:

In the funeral industry, we serve families by walking alongside them after the loss of their loved one.  I have often experienced and heard, “it’s different serving our own family when we lose a loved one”…basically a funeral professional having to be on the “other side of the table”.

Even more poignant, and we know this is coming…what about our own personal mortality?

Have you made pre-arrangements? Not necessarily picking out your casket, vault and writing a contract for payment.  But actually conversing about the celebration of your life with your closest of family…what you want to be said about you, who should be saying something, where the ceremony(s) should take place, music, video, food, final resting place etc?  As a retired military member and funeral professional, my wife, sons and I have had many discussions about my death, of course mostly joking around.

During my life, I have “cheated death”.  There have been several instances that I should not have survived. Most recently, I had a totally unexpected and serious medical event that in many cases, the end result is death.

During the entire episode, even in the back of a wailing ambulance, all sorts of beeping equipment, inserted and attached tubes along with a grand arrival notice into the hospital…not once did I think that “this is the end”.  However, as most of us do after some of our life’s defining moments, I began to ponder “what if”.

What if my last breath was taken?  Yes, my wife knows where all the life insurance documents are located, my final disposition wishes, some discussions about the “party”, music, military honors, etc. have taken place.

But, have I chronicled my life and provided enough information in such a manner so that not only during my funeral my life could be shared, but for the generations that follow me…what will they know?  How will they remember me…my life story the way that I want it told?

Several years ago I embarked on a mission that for every birthday of my wife and sons along with each wedding anniversary, I would write a letter.  A letter expressing my love, observations, encouragement and blessing of their relationship to me.

However, after this recent event, I reflected upon even more of my thoughts beyond my immediate family and posted on my Facebook page:

To read the rest of Jeff’s reflections on walking the funeral planning talk, visit his blog at MyFuneralFinance.com.


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Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Friday Funeral Film: The Way

Friday Funeral Film: The Way

Today’s Friday Funeral Film is The Way, starring Martin Sheen in a film directed by his son Emilio Estevez. It looks at the journey of life and making the most of this lifetime. The film also shows cremation scattering scenes, which can open the door to discussion of what to do with the cremated remains of loved ones before there’s a death in the family.

Cremation is a growing disposition choice for Americans, now reaching about 42% of the national average (higher in the Western states, lower in the East). However, the U.S. lags way behind countries like Japan (over 99%) and Great Britain (approximately 75%).

If an American dies overseas while on travel, it can be very expensive to have the body returned to the U.S. You will spend much less money having the body cremated and bringing the cremated remains back yourself, or having a funeral home ship the remains to you. It’s worth checking into insurance that will pay for body return, especially if you travel abroad frequently.

The Way actually uses cremation to open up a father’s conversation with his son on how one lives life.

In The Way, Martin Sheen plays Tom, a typical busy American who comes to St. Jean Pied de Port, France to collect the remains of his adult son (played by Emilio Estevez). His son was killed in a storm the Pyrenees mountains while walking the Camino de Santiago, also known as The Way of Saint James. Tom had argued with his son about his life choices while taking him to the airport for this trip.

Martin Sheen in The WayIn a combination of grief and homage to his son, Tom decides to journey on this historical path of pilgrims, to complete the journey his son did not.

While walking The Camino, Tom meets other pilgrims from around the world, all broken and looking for greater meaning in their lives. Along The Way, Tom discovers the meaning of one of the last things his son said (in a flashback) to his father: “There is a difference between the life we live and the life we choose.”The Way scattering at sea

From the high mountains in France to the edge of the sea in Spain, Tom remembers his son and catches glimpses of him all along the Way. In special spots, he scoops out handfuls of his son’s cremated remains.

Gradually the experience of the Camino works its way into the spirits of the pilgrims. They become mirrors for each other, helping to strip away the protective layers that have preserved their pain and isolation, and with their new vulnerability, freeing them to feel and connect once more.

The Way DVD cover

In the end, the message of this poignant film is that opening our hearts to others is the real miracle. Connecting with them through kindness and laughter and joy is the magic that invites the presence of God.

By the time Tom and his companions reach the end of the journey with his son’s remains, he himself is a changed man. He scatters the rest of the cremated remains at the shore of the sea, and sets out to explore the world as his son had done.

The Way (2011 rated PG-13) is available on Amazon.com. It’s a great story – check it out!


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