Funeral Flower Etiquette by Religion

Funeral flower etiquette can be different for every culture and religion. It is very important that before attending a funeral or wake that you know the religion’s customs. Even though you may think that everyone would appreciate receiving flowers, it is not appropriate in some cultures.

During this difficult time, it is important for an individual who is planning to either visit the funeral or send flowers to the family to learn about the funeral flower etiquette of the deceased’s family. Flowers may be delivered in person or sent to the family’s home. Or, the flowers may be delivered to the funeral service, burial, or wake. Depending on when and where the flowers are sent, the etiquette may vary. For example, it may not be appropriate to arrive at the funeral with flowers, but it may be acceptable to send flowers to the family a few weeks after the funeral.

The following are some religions and their funeral flower etiquette. If you do not find the information below and are still unsure about the etiquette, refer to the obituary. The family will often include at the end of the obituary some information on whether or not they would like to receive flowers, donations, or other memorial gifts.

Roman Catholic Funeral

Flowers are acceptable during funeral wakes and services of Roman Catholics. The flowers can be sent to the church, funeral home, family’s residence, or to the wake. An individual can also send donations to the family of the deceased if they have requested them in lieu or flowers.

Protestant Funeral

A Protestant funeral ceremony celebrates the deceased person’s life and highlights the afterlife. Flowers are appreciated by the family and can be sent to their home or sent to the funeral home or church. The family may also request that donations be made to a charity they have selected.

Mormon Funeral

During a Mormon funeral flowers are acceptable, but an individual is advised not to send flower arrangements in the shape of a cross. Crosses and crucifix are not permitted because they believe in the bodily resurrection of Christ. It is advised to offer condolences and provide flowers before or after the funeral.

Jewish Funeral

Funeral flowers are not appropriate in Jewish traditions. Individuals are highly encouraged to send donations. A rabbi performs the funeral service and the deceased is buried right after his death. The family sits in mourning for seven days and fruit and food baskets are taken to the home.

Buddhist Funeral

A Buddhist family will accept flowers, but you should never send red flowers. White flowers are the traditional Buddhist flower color and are preferred. Also, it is not appropriate to send the family food. A donation may be made if the family has selected a charity.

Muslim Funeral

Whether or not to send flowers to a Muslim family depends on their beliefs. Some people believe that the Islamic emphasis on simplicity makes sending flowers inappropriate. However, some people will say that sending a simple flower arrangement is ok.

Hindu Funeral

A Hindu funeral takes place within 24 hours of death. Mourners should not bring anything to the funeral and not exchange greeting with other guests. A ceremony is held 10 days after the death where fruit should be brought for the family, but flowers are still not appropriate.

The funeral flower etiquette for the religions listed above give you the typical procedure for giving flowers. However, no matter what the religion the family may have different preferences. Often families prefer donations to a charity they select in lieu of flowers. Or, the family may not want flowers or any gifts at all. If you are unsure, refer to the obituary for more information. If there is no information in the obituary, you could ask a relative or close friend of the family. If you are still unsure, give the family a sympathy card and express your condolences for their loss.

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Short Funeral Flower Card Messages

Death is incredibly sad and with death comes funerals and a lot of other difficult things to deal with. As a family friend, or a close or distant relative, it is important that we let the family feel our support, care and love. There are a lot of ways we can show our sympathy to the grieving family. One is by sending flowers with personalized short funeral flower card messages.

Sending funeral flowers is important in several ways. First it is considered proper funeral etiquette to send flowers and a card, especially if you cannot come to the funeral or if you cannot come visit at the wake. Second, sending a card to the family shows how much you cared for the deceased and share the grief felt by the family. Moreover, it is a way of comforting the family and helping ease the pain of loss.

However, it can be very difficult to decide what to write in funeral flower card messages. It is because sometimes, there are just no words to say that can express your grief. Sometimes, we cannot fathom what our hearts feel and even though we say, “Everything’s going to be fine,” we know it will not be. The following are a few of the most popular short funeral card messages that you can use to express your grief.

With deepest sympathy.

With condolences.

We are sorry for your loss.

With sincere sympathy.

My heartfelt condolences.

Please accept my condolences.

My prayers are with you.

With loving and caring thoughts.

Sent with love and remembrance.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

With sincere condolences.

In loving remembrance of _____.

You will always be in our minds and prayers.

Gone but will never be forgotten.

In divine love remaining.

With love, you are always in my mind.

Treasured Memories.

You’ll always be in our hearts

God will bless and keep you in his care.

Wishing you were still here.

Goodnight and God bless.

Always be remembered.

Sleep peacefully, love _____.

In tender memoir.

Rest in solemnity and serenity.

May God keep you by His side.

Oh good Lord, grant unto him eternal rest.

As time passes by, memories of you will never die.

It is a sad incident if someone you know has passed away. It is important to remember to send a card to let the family of the deceased person to let them know that you are sharing the same grief. It will also show your respect and sympathy. However, it is undeniable that making a card is difficult. It is hard to decide what funeral messages for cards to write. We know that the family or relatives are suffering and there are no words that will eliminate their grief. However, the family will appreciate the thought and any words will provide them with some comfort. We recommend that you use one, or a combination or, the short funeral flower card messages above.

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Recycled Cemetery Flower Dresses

Recycled Cemetery Flower Dresses Recycled Cemetery Flower Dresses

Now here’s a cool use of spent silk flowers from the cemetery: high fashion! These images were part of an Art in Stiches blog post by Susan Lenz, creative fiber artist.

In 2010, she participated in a fashion show of recycled garments. Her entry was a dress created from recycled silk flowers and leaves from local cemeteries.

She did NOT take flowers from graves, she rescued discarded arrangements from dumpsters and trash cans. (And there are plenty of cemeteries that clear out flower arrangements on a regular basis – see my January 21 post.)

She made a dress to wear to the fashion show of green flowers and leaves (see photo to the right and close up below). It was, after all a show to highlight being green, so why not?

All the leaves and flowers were taken apart and thoroughly washed. She had used them at a solo show in other artwork. Susan Lenz documents the process of putting the dresses together at her blog.

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