Funeral Flower Etiquette by Religion

Funeral flower etiquette can be different for every culture and religion. It is very important that before attending a funeral or wake that you know the religion’s customs. Even though you may think that everyone would appreciate receiving flowers, it is not appropriate in some cultures.

During this difficult time, it is important for an individual who is planning to either visit the funeral or send flowers to the family to learn about the funeral flower etiquette of the deceased’s family. Flowers may be delivered in person or sent to the family’s home. Or, the flowers may be delivered to the funeral service, burial, or wake. Depending on when and where the flowers are sent, the etiquette may vary. For example, it may not be appropriate to arrive at the funeral with flowers, but it may be acceptable to send flowers to the family a few weeks after the funeral.

The following are some religions and their funeral flower etiquette. If you do not find the information below and are still unsure about the etiquette, refer to the obituary. The family will often include at the end of the obituary some information on whether or not they would like to receive flowers, donations, or other memorial gifts.

Roman Catholic Funeral

Flowers are acceptable during funeral wakes and services of Roman Catholics. The flowers can be sent to the church, funeral home, family’s residence, or to the wake. An individual can also send donations to the family of the deceased if they have requested them in lieu or flowers.

Protestant Funeral

A Protestant funeral ceremony celebrates the deceased person’s life and highlights the afterlife. Flowers are appreciated by the family and can be sent to their home or sent to the funeral home or church. The family may also request that donations be made to a charity they have selected.

Mormon Funeral

During a Mormon funeral flowers are acceptable, but an individual is advised not to send flower arrangements in the shape of a cross. Crosses and crucifix are not permitted because they believe in the bodily resurrection of Christ. It is advised to offer condolences and provide flowers before or after the funeral.

Jewish Funeral

Funeral flowers are not appropriate in Jewish traditions. Individuals are highly encouraged to send donations. A rabbi performs the funeral service and the deceased is buried right after his death. The family sits in mourning for seven days and fruit and food baskets are taken to the home.

Buddhist Funeral

A Buddhist family will accept flowers, but you should never send red flowers. White flowers are the traditional Buddhist flower color and are preferred. Also, it is not appropriate to send the family food. A donation may be made if the family has selected a charity.

Muslim Funeral

Whether or not to send flowers to a Muslim family depends on their beliefs. Some people believe that the Islamic emphasis on simplicity makes sending flowers inappropriate. However, some people will say that sending a simple flower arrangement is ok.

Hindu Funeral

A Hindu funeral takes place within 24 hours of death. Mourners should not bring anything to the funeral and not exchange greeting with other guests. A ceremony is held 10 days after the death where fruit should be brought for the family, but flowers are still not appropriate.

The funeral flower etiquette for the religions listed above give you the typical procedure for giving flowers. However, no matter what the religion the family may have different preferences. Often families prefer donations to a charity they select in lieu of flowers. Or, the family may not want flowers or any gifts at all. If you are unsure, refer to the obituary for more information. If there is no information in the obituary, you could ask a relative or close friend of the family. If you are still unsure, give the family a sympathy card and express your condolences for their loss.

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NPR’s Losing Our Religion Series

NPR’s Losing Our Religion Series

This week, NPR is running a special series of stories titled Losing Our Religion. The content has serious implication for people facing loss, as today’s installment showed. This series shows why Certified Celebrants are a growing trend as officiants for funerals and memorial services.

After Tragedy, Nonbelievers Find Other Ways to Cope looks at the clash between atheists and the religious in the face of death, especially tragic, untimely ends.

Many have long turned to religion for solace in the aftermath of a tragedy, but that’s not an option for the nonreligious or those whose faith is destroyed by the event. For the nonreligious, dealing with trauma and loss often requires forging one’s own path.

One-fifth of Americans are religiously unaffiliated — higher than at any time in recent U.S. history — and those younger than 30 especially seem to be drifting from organized religion. A third of young Americans say they don’t belong to any religion.

More Young People are Moving Away from Religion, But Why? offers thoughtful interviews with young people about their growing distance from organized religion.

On Monday, the series started with The Growth of the ‘Nones.’ As religious as this country may be, many Americans are not religious at all. The group of religiously unaffiliated – dubbed “nones”— has been growing. One-fifth of Americans say they’re nones, as are one in three under 30. They’re socially liberal and aren’t looking for an organized religion.

In October, the Pew Research Center released a study, ‘Nones’ on the Rise, that takes a closer look at the 46 million people who answered none to the religion question in 2012. According to Pew, one-fifth of American adults have no religious affiliation, a trend that has for years been on the rise.

A growing group without religion has implications for funerals and memorial services. A major life change such as a death in the family calls for some sort of recognition. Religion has served to provide the rituals for the “matchings, hatchings and dispatchings” of our lives. Top hits and traffic to this blog come in for the information on religious funeral traditions.

A rise in a search for independent ways to mark end-of-life cycle transitions could happen, just as baby boomers wrote their own wedding vows. But death might not engender the same passion for self-styled ceremony as weddings do.

NPR’s series continues through the week. Tune in for more good reporting!

Update: Here’s a great Pearls Before Swine cartoon that adds commentary to the series.

P.S.: The series’ title refers to the R.E.M. song “Losing My Religion” released in 1991.

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